2 Samuel 13
-The turmoil in David’s family now heats up in the form of
rape and murder in aftermath of his sinful acts, which were forgiven but had
consequence and fulfilled prophecy (see 2 Samuel 12:7-14). Now, it just so
happened that Absalom had a beautiful sister by the name of Tamar, and Absalom’s
step brother (both sons of David with different moms) by the name of Amnon loved
her. Maybe we should say he was infatuated with her more than actual love as we
will see. He was sick over her, feeling frustrated day after day, because she
was a pure virgin and it seemed hard for him to do anything to her to
demonstrate his affection. But Amnon had a friend. This friend was a brother of
David’s, the son of Shimeah, by the name of Jonadab. He was described as “a
very shrewd (chakam- crafty, cunning, wily, subtle, wise) man.” This Jonadab
planted thoughts of sexual immorality in his friend and relative. He told Amnon
not to be depressed over his love for Tamar, but to devise a plan to get close
to her by deception. Amnon was told to lie down on his bed pretending to be ill
and to ask for Tamar to be able to provide some food for him to eat so that he
could eat from her hand. Amnon followed Jonadab’s plan to a tee, and when the
king came to him thinking he was sick, his son beseeched his father to let
Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in his sight so that he could eat from
her hand. David obliged and sent for his beautiful-virgin daughter to assist
what he thought was a sick son. Tamar obeyed her father and ministered to Amnon
without raising any fuss. She took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight,
and baked these cakes; then, she took them and dished them out before her step
brother. But, Amnon refused to eat. He wanted everyone to go out from him, but
he beckoned for Tamar to bring the food into the bedroom so that he could eat
from her hand. Deceptively, he conned his step sister into his quarters for
sexual intercourse. He took hold of her and said, “Come, lie with me, my
sister.” But she replied with confidence and discretion, “No, my brother, do
not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this
disgraceful thing! As for me, where could I get rid of my reproach? And as for
you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak
to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” Instead of going through
proper procedure and decorum, Amnon would not listen to her, and since he was
the stronger one “he violated her and lay with her (2 Samuel 13:1-14).”
-The experience was not pleasant. We know this because in
the aftermath of this rape, Amnon hated Tamar with “a very great hatred.” In
fact, this hated trumped what infatuated love he felt for her previously. He told
her to “Get up,” and to “go away.” She reasoned with him that this would
certainly be wrong to send her away like this making it an even greater wrong
than he had already accomplished, if we can imagine that in this ancient
culture. Yet, he still would not listen to her and had his young man servant
throw her out of his presence with a locked door behind her (2 Samuel 13:15-17).
Grievous situation to say the least.
-As a daughter of the king, all the virgins would wear long-sleeved
garments with their robes. Tamar put ashes on her head in sorrow for what had just
transpired and tore her long-sleeved garment, which was on her. She put her
hand on her head and went away from Amnon’s lair crying aloud as she went. Then
Absalom saw her and spoke, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep
silent, my sister, he is your brother; do not take this matter to heart.” The
Word says that she remained then in Absalom’s house desolated (shamem- awestruck, appalled,
deserted). When King David heard of all these matters, he was “very
angry.” On Absalom’s part, he refused to speak to Amnon for neither good or
bad. His hatred boiled for his step brother over the violation of his sister
and the silent treatment was his offensive weapon (2 Samuel 13:18-22).
-After two full years after this incident, Absalom invited
all the king’s sons to go where he had sheepshearers in Baal-hazor, which is
near Ephraim to the north of Jerusalem. Absalom asked his dad to go along too,
but David felt like he would be burdensome to his son during this event for
whatever reason. He did bless him and sent him on his way though. Absalom had
urged his dad to go, but was denied. Perhaps this was a plea by a son for his
dad to step and rectify a tense situation between the brothers. There is no
doubt that David missed an opportunity to intervene in what turned out to be a
violent crisis. Absalom, and the text does not state the motives in the
situation although we do know there was intense hatred, continued to pursue
bringing Amnon. When David asked why he should go along, Absalom entreated him
to let all the king’s sons join the party, to which David consented. When they
got to Baal-hazor, Absalom commanded his servants, “See now, when Amnon’s heart
is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then put him to
death. Do not fear; have not I commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.”
This was a vengeful killing, not of the LORD and not like his father David in
so many instances where he forgave and restored people. He took his own
retribution instead of letting the LORD handle the sin. Therefore, at this time
the son of David went in the wrong direction. The servants of Absalom did to
Amnon exactly as Absalom had commanded in killing this former rapist. Some
would say he got what he had coming to him. But when this happened, all the
king’s sons arose, mounted their mules, and fled. In the meantime, a false report
came back to King David informing that Absalom had struck down all the king’s
sons with none left. Can you even imagine what this would have done to the king’s
heart? Even if it was short-lived, this news would have been devastating. David
arose, tore his clothes, and assumed the same position on the ground that he
had when he found out the LORD had stricken the first child borne to Bathsheba
(see 2 Samuel 12:15b-16). All his servants who were around him tore their
clothes as well in deep sorrow and mourning. But, somehow, the cunning and
shrewd Jonadab, who was in attendance, calmed the chaos by stating, “Do not let
my lord suppose that they have put to death all the young men, the king’s sons,
for Amnon alone is dead; because by the intent of Absalom this has been
determined since the day that he violated his sister Tamar.” Then he reiterated
his belief that all were not dead as had been erroneously reported. This at
least infers inside knowledge by conspiring Jonadab. Absalom had fled the scene
entirely, but the king’s watchman raised his eyes and saw many people coming
towards Jerusalem from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. Jonadab
told the king that it was his sons as they came rolling in. As they came they
also lifted up their voices in bitter wailing over the whole situation.
Meanwhile, Absalom had fled to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur
(modern day Golan Heights area in ancient East Manasseh directly east of the
Sea of Galilee). David mourned every day, the Bible tells us, over this lost
son for three long years. “The heart of
David longed to go out to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since
he was dead (2 Samuel 13:23-39).”
-*Application* Preemptive action is something we all too
often take for granted. David could have been more perceptive and in tune with
his family during these days of conflict and averted this catastrophe. We can get
too busy, too often, too if we’re not careful. Pay attention to the things
going on on the home front. Watch out for deception, hatred, and possible vengeance
of one relative against another. Above all pray and ask the LORD to watch over
the house. Otherwise, we labor in vain (Psalm 127:1). Take it from David, the
results can be very discouraging when we are aloof and don’t lead with
spiritual insight.
Verses to Memorize:
2 Samuel 13:14, 39
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